No one can really put together the most accurate set of words in any language to describe how it feels to lose someone you dearly love. It could feel like a part of you, or even your whole self has been snatched from you in this rather cruel life process.
Regardless of how we deal with life after a loss of a loved one, it is rather easy to agree that after we’ve dealt with the five stages of grief, there comes a point in life when we simply have to pick up our mats and carry on with our lives. Wallowing in self-pity is always a tempting route to take, but for most of us who have other important people who look up to us and need us to be okay, self- pity is certainly not an option. Life indeed must go on.
This then poses the question, how exactly do we restart our lives after a great loss? Is it even possible? Will we ever get back to that vital, joyous state? While it might not be possible to go back to way things were, it is certainly imperative that we continue living. Because what other choice do we truly have?
Below is a series of suggestions aimed towards helping people who suffered a loss of someone they love. Do note that these are more suggestive than explanatory, and while one might find these suggestions incredibly useful, in is still best to consult the expertise of a trained professional. So here are five tips that may prove helpful in getting you through this process:
#1: Do not neglect your body.
At the height of emotions, it is easy to let ourselves go physically. Junk food, alcohol and other unhealthy vices sure feel appealing and numbing at first, but the harmful repercussions can hurt you even more in the long run. Adequate sleep, good nutrition, and regular exercise cannot be overstated here. It is never an easy task to stay healthy on regular days, let alone the sad ones. The truth prevails, however: your physiology usually equals your psychology. So take care of your body so you could give yourself a fighting chance.
Tip #2: Take it a day at a time- Do not feel pressured to live by someone’s standard as to when it’s time to go live your life, or find your purpose or fulfill your role. You might backslide to unwanted states if you rush the healing process. Healing is exactly that: a process. It’s not an event.
Tip # 3: Refrain from beating yourself up / Be kind to yourself – As human beings, we have the tendency to think that we are always in control and that there is always something we could have done to change some unfavorable outcomes, but the truth is, there is so much in our lives that are miles beyond our control. Accepting this fact is liberty. Besides, beating yourself up for things in the past will not create solutions today. Your past doesn’t need you, but your future does.
Tip #4: Find a support group- We were never designed to be autonomous beings. A quick scan at how society functions and how it has ever functioned throughout history will tell you that we all need other people. Sharing your burden with people with the same predicaments could lighten the load a little bit. Find support groups in your community or online. They are not very difficult to find.
Tip #5: Try speaking with a professional or clergy – As mentioned earlier, all these are mere suggestions for you as you deal with this painful stage of your life. Although these insights were written with utmost sincerity and with your welfare in mind, they are still no substitute to the scientific step-by-step formula that a trained professional or noble person of faith can give you. If you move on this tip, be sure to seek out a credible one with a good reputation and solid track record. Try asking friends and family for great referrals.
If you’ve recently lost someone you love, know that it’s ok and healthy to proceed with life and enjoy it. You don’t have to replace that person with new people nor try to forget how much they meant to you. Your healthiest path to working yourself back into your life, is starting simply.
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